Yes, I'm aging. And my responses, as celebrated and sometimes unexpected as they are on this blog, are, lets-face-it-charlie, beginning to wane.I don't get as hard as quickly as I used to. I don't stay hard as long as I used to. The things that used to work for me don't always work so good anymore.
I emphatically deny that it's I'm watching too much porn. I'm not thinking of the perfect shaved bimbo when I'm in my wife and can't get it up. Quite the opposite, I'm looking for the real and the true. And my continued consumption of virtual sexual expressions, of sloppy and realistic scenarios of the shimmer of human condition wrapped up in personal lust, the surprise of the unconventional (don't get me wrong, not too unconventional) all keep me fresh.
Keep the sparks burning and my mind open. Sex is in the imagination and I exercise that muscle often, which enhances my sex life, personal and shared.
But I've been married for going on two decades. The thrill of the new has been replaced by the long-lasting depth of experience. But I also know, possibly too well, the signals of a not-quite engaged partner, of the 1000 distractions, of the availability and attraction of postponement. Especially when I'll have another chance tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.
Maybe she'll blow me next time. Maybe we'll finally have the kids out of the house and we can fuck on the couch for the first time in 3 years. Maybe I won't be so worried about work tomorrow. Sorry baby, this has never happened before. It's not you, it's me.
Having never had any issue with erectile dysfunction, but finding myself increasingly "uninspired," I finally began to click on those "Satisfy her tonight" spam emails we all get.
There's a known handful of ways to stay hard and stay hard longer. All for about $2 - $4 a dose, from Canada, in plain unmarked wrapping. Viagra is the biggest name, good for 4 - 6 hours, while Cialis is nick-named the "weekender" because it can last as long as 36 hours. Now that's a party.
I was apprehensive about the warnings: possible headache, back pain, loss of vision, a painful erection that lasts for more than 4 hours. (That hasn't happened since high school.) But I wanted to fuck my wife. I'm never sure when I'm going to get lucky, or when something set up at 10:00 a.m doesn't get knocked down until 10 that night, so I went for the Cialis.
I got a 10-pack, at the highest per-pill rate ($2.99 per pill). I could have ordered a 500-pill bottle for only .99c per, but I'm not sure I have that many weekends left. I was willing to risk the $30 to see if it would even arrive. And they did.
The weekend came. I took one after dinner, but nothing ended up happening that night, and I wanted to test the response. After the lights went out I gave myself an erection that felt normal, and I didn't feel any back pain or other side effect.
In the morning I had an erection, which is usual, but it didn't go away after I peed. It felt good, hard, sturdy. It was pretty obvious in my pajamas and when I hugged my wife, she knew it was time.
Friends, I have had times when I got soft in the middle of love-making when things didn't feel quite right, or I got bored with the position, or we heard a footstep outside the bedroom door. It's age, mostly--I've plowed my share of furrows, and I know that the current time isn't going to be the last one, so part of it is also having less at stake, less to prove.
This time I lost no hardness and was ready to go, without any foreplay. (Which doesn't mean I didn't engage in some oral foreplay anyway. Having me be raging hard while licking her definitely turned on my wife.)
We went at it for awhile, and then stopped to change position, chat a moment, adjust the curtians, you know the drill. At that point I would have gotten soft and we'd continue again after restarting, but I didn't loose my erection the whole time.
Fuck, there I was, a little amazed I wasn't giving myself away or forcing the issue, feeling like the hard young stud I always enjoyed being, at least until the last couple years.
She noticed. I didn't need to make a point of it, but I was still hard as Hercules. My cock was still wet and ready to slide in when she was ready. And, I didn't tell I'd ordered the Cialis. She had been very supportive of me the times I would start fucking then lose my wood and we'd have to continue with other methods... or postpone until tomorrow. She didn't give me any shit about not being able to sustain - that was my job to beat myself up.
And we fucked some more. And the erection did not let me down. And I knew I didn't have to hurry, friends. It wasn't going to betray me at the slightest stray thought or break in rhythm.
And I went slower. And enjoyed being inside her, rocking that pussy and feeling her, more than I had in months and months. Because that cock was not going to go soft and even as I precum-ed and took off the edge, the edge remained sharp and on point.
I finally got rid of my erection when I came. The orgasm was neither better nor worse than any other, but it was preceded by 30 minutes of on-and-off fucking and no fear I had to get the position just right, or rush to finish, or reveal that I was tiring before she was (which didn't happen for the first 15 years of our marriage).
That night I tried to get another erection, with the help of some tumblr videos and I got hard again and that mother fucker stayed up, slowly softening over a half an hour while I continued with my evening. The next morning, I had a half-erect cock all day at work.
The slight headache I attribute to that third beer I drank that night.
This is not advice and I am not a doctor. But that was the best $3.00 I ever spent.
So, there's 52 weekends in a year, so that big bottle would last for about a decade. The next few years are starting to look pretty fucking good.
